Taco Train Confession: We Jinxed Eric Hosmer

Credit: AP Photo

Three or four weeks ago, the Taco Train wrote a sort of smart-ass ,midway report which (if read) was best forgotten by the time your brain tendrils had been distracted onto their next meal. One of the assertions of the piece was that Eric Hosmer was the perfect complementary player for the Padres.

If other players were doing their part, we KNEW Hosmer would be doing his, and his efforts would help the total end up being more than the sum of the Padres’ parts.

We knew this from what Hosmer had done with the Royals, where he was the perfect complementary player, and from what has been promised to us by every member of the Padre organization since January as if the Bible was being decoded by God itself for a refresher course. Hosmer was the glue. He was the one, as Bob Dylan would most definitely put it, to bring it all together, to bring it all back home for the local nine. 2020? 2022? When Armageddon happens? No one would say, but basically, he was expected to be the glue from Day One.

Since writing the piece, the Padres have continued their mid-season tumble. They’ve gone from a lovable story about playing above expectations, to just another “Padre Punchline”. They write themselves. Hey! When was the last Padre W? The last Padre W? They cancelled that show. Poor ratings.

Last night I stayed up late, well past my bedtime (whatever the hell that is), and computed Hosmer’s statistics since I wrote my adoring piece. He is EXACTLY 3-for-37 with two bunt singles, a bloop, a blister and a bad rash. Sabremetrics values the blister (good for improvisation) but not so much the bad rash. It doesn’t have much to say about that.

THE TACO TRAIN JINXED ERIC HOSMER!!!!

Wil Myers has returned from the disabled list en fuego like 2016 Wil Myers. Boy, would there be joy in Mudville if along with Wil’s brilliant performance which is so marvelous for all Padre fans to see, Mr. $144 million dollar man could join in the fun. Yet the reverse has happened. Seemingly in direct proportion to Myers’ amazing run of form, has been Hosmer and his cratering at the plate. The other day I heard Hosmer had a negative ground ball ratio. Whatever the hell that is. It almost sounds like a negative ozone layer, which I fear is what awaits us. Anyway, I guess if the globe can heat up because of the ozone layer (or its negativity), Hosmer could heat up because of improving his negative ground ball rate? (Who says grasping the not so obvious can’t be fun?)

Back to the point: We have the biggest popcorn offense this side of the 1896 Washington Senators (a notorious popcorn offense outfit), but with Myers, a hot Hedges, a rejuvenated Margot, with Jankowski still setting the table, there are opportunities to be had. We could be riding nine out of 10 if our offense wasn’t shooting impotent daggers into the concubine sea, and Mr. Hosmer is shooting most of our impotent daggers. I have unfortunately jinxed the Floridian with my midway report card and allusions to heaven and justice and brides and epic songs.

So, I hereby renounce my analysis of  the $144 million dollar man as the glue that holds this team together. The straw that mixes the drink, the perfect complement to everyone else’s complimentary status. Screw that. I’m here to win baseball games. Not to lose three out of four to wanna be Han Solos from LA (when they choke again like dogs in the playoffs we’ll have to have fend off the fleas all the way down here) or lose yet another game when we’re one strike away to gangsters from Chicago who still haven’t paid for what they got away with against us two years ago. The Taco Train doesn’t forget. Period. It’s frickin’ BS. So, I hereby apologize for the jinx I put on Mr. Hosmer, and by extension, the whole team. It’s one thing to be complementary, it’s another to be subservient. Maybe if we put him in the 9-hole he’d snap out of it.

Til’ then, long live polarity, jocularity, prosperity, temerity. Most importantly, long live Eric Hosmer hitting the other way and reminding us all of the great Mr. 19, and long live not trying to yank everything like Hosmer has been doing with increasing passion lately.

Most of all, long live the W’s. Just give us the damn W’s please. Everything else sounds like 1973 to me, and trust me, if you weren’t around for 1973 the first time, you don’t want to be around for it again.

Total Views: 110 ,
(Visited 239 times, 1 visits today)
Scott Olesen
I was at the Kirby/Gomez "no hitter" Curse game. I was at the Holy Roller game. Though I love the man and what he did for the Padres, I cried when they retired Steve Garvey's number. By my estimation I witnessed in person, watched on tv or listened on the radio to over 3,000 of Tony's 3,141 hits. Jerry Coleman's initials aren't J.C. for no reason.

This article has 8 Comments

  1. The rebuilding process was well on its way, the trajectory was very promising, but then Preller decided to throw, not just a wrench, but an entire tool shop into the works. Now it doesn’t work. And it will that much more difficult to function well going forward. The thing is, this is not just about Hosmer and how good or bad he is (although he is WELL-BELOW AVERAGE … and he is batting .240, with a 0.3 War), it is, among other things: 1. the timing 2. the position (e.g. the easiest to fill/not a crucial position, and …) 3. the displacement and blocking of other key players, which led to negatively impacting/harming the team in many other ways 4. the INSANE amount of money invested … that could have/should have gone elsewhere 5. the INSANE length of the contract 6. AND there was ZERO reason to give him that much … over that period of time (NO ONE else was even close) 7. the fact that he will be yet another player the Padres will be paying millions to … who is not playing for them and/or playing for someone else This has also exposed the discord and disconnect between those who adore anything Preller does and those who try to be more objective (anyone who objected to or even questioned this signing were mocked or attacked by those whose mantra is “In Preller we trust”). This has nothing to do with a jinx, it is just reality, the reality of who Hosmer is/isn’t. In many ways it is not his fault. He is a likeable guy, he shrewdly leveraged a circumstance where he had no leverage. Yet, in order for this to happen, there needed to be the wrong guy in the wrong position: AJ Preller.

      1. Yes, and with no consequences whatsoever. [Except unending praise (by the Preller faithful) even when he does something so nonsensical that it is painfully obvious.]

        1. We guaranteed $34 million more to Hosmer than the Red Sox gave to JD Martinez. If you think about that long enough, I assure you, you will need a drink.

          1. Meanwhile … Jake Bauers, the first baseman throw into with Trea Turner, Joe Ross, etc to get Wil Myers (so that we can then overpay him to play first, then overpay another first baseman to displace Myers) … has a WAR of over 4 times that of Hosmer (1.3 WAR to 0.3 WAR) in less than a third of the games played, and he is just getting started as a 23 yr old rookie. AND Bauers makes about 1/40th of what Hosmer does, and he can play OF. BUT he probably doesn’t speak spanish and he hasn’t been on a team that won a world series, and who knows if he is the “club house presence” that is apparently worth an extra $100 million?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *